You deserve to take up space. You are enough, exactly as you are.
- Kate Horstmeier
- Jun 30
- 3 min read
How do those words land in your body? Do you believe them? Or do they feel hard to fully embody?
As warmer days arrive here in the Midwest, many of us look forward to shedding our layers. But alongside this seasonal shift often comes a familiar message: our bodies should be “ready” for summer. And often, “summer ready” is code for “smaller.”
I’ve been reflecting on how deeply many of us, especially (but certainly not limited to) women, internalize this message over time. And it doesn’t stop with our bodies.
For those who have experienced trauma, the pull to “be smaller” can also show up emotionally, physically, and relationally. When the nervous system learns that safety and belonging comes from staying quiet, agreeable, or invisible (sometimes called the “fawn” response), shrinking can become instinctive. At one point, that response may have helped us stay safe. But it may not be serving you now.
You are here. You are human. You deserve to take up space, and you are enough, exactly as you are.
Below are some gentle invitations to explore taking up space while tending to your nervous system:
Start your day with a stretch: Before getting out of bed, you might take a moment to yawn and stretch your arms, legs, and full body, like a cat or dog waking up from a nap. This instinctive movement (called pandiculation) supports your muscles, fascia, and nervous system, and can be a simple way to begin the day with presence.
Breathe with intention: Notice moments throughout your day that you might pause to simply notice your breath. You might try inhaling through your nose and slowly extending your exhale. A longer exhale can gently signal to your nervous system that you are safe.
Choose clothing that honors your body as it is today: When your clothing allows you to move, breathe, and exist without restriction, it can ease physical tension and remind your nervous system that you are allowed to take up space, just as you are. As the saying goes, “clothes are meant to fit YOU, not the other way around.” Our bodies change across seasons of life (even day to day), and it’s an act of kindness and self-care to honor your body at every stage. Wear what feels good.
Taking space with your time: Look for small ways to create more spaciousness in your day. Instead of rushing from one task to the next, notice where you might allow a little more time to slow down and check in with yourself. It could look like taking a few extra minutes to eat, use the restroom when you need to, pausing before responding to a message, or adding in small buffers of time when scheduling your day. Slowing down gives your nervous system a chance to recalibrate, process, and return to the present moment.
Connect with nature: Nature can be an incredibly powerful ally in coming home to ourselves. Nature asks nothing of you. No performance, no productivity, no perfection, just presence. If you’re able, step outside, take a walk, or sit and observe your surroundings. Feel the sun or wind on your skin. Tune in to the sounds around you. If going outside isn’t accessible, you might look out a window to notice the sky or trees, or perhaps watch for birds or other creatures that might pass your view.
Grounding: Pause and feel your feet firmly planted on the ground, whether standing or seated. You might imagine roots extending downward, anchoring you to the present moment. From there, gently lengthen your spine, soften your shoulders, and allow your breath to move freely.
Explore yoga or other supportive movement: Practices like yoga can offer a safe space to connect with your body and breath. Taking up space might look like holding a strong, expansive posture (like Star Pose or Warrior II), or it might mean slowing down, modifying, or choosing rest. It can also mean allowing space for emotions to move through you as they arise, without judgment. Exploring moments of awareness, choice, and spaciousness within the safety of a yoga practice can then carry over into everyday life.
Tending to your nervous system can happen through small, everyday moments, and these subtle practices can lead to powerful shifts over time. As you move through this season, you might gently remind yourself: you don’t need to change your body, silence your voice, or shrink your needs to belong. You already do. You have the right to take up space. You are enough, exactly as you are.
At Best Self Counseling Center, we're here to help you explore these patterns, heal from past experiences, and create secure, meaningful connections.
Want to learn more?
Reach out to us for a session, and let’s start your journey to becoming your best self.
Comments